not a morning person

so i deleted my fb account. it wasn't worth the hassle i was getting from my mother. apparently complaining about work is going to lead to us losing our house (what?) so i just dropped it. it was dead weight anyway, the only people i cared about enough to check on them are people i talk to on a pretty regular basis outside of fb anyway.

was late to work. i didn't want to be here today, and it seemed like my morning routine just dragged and dragged, my subconscious was trying to be helpful. somehow my phone ended up beneath me in bed and i never heard the alarm anyway.

i'm probably going to have to delete this blog now, too, since i said i didn't want to come in to work. it'll get me fired. this is me rolling my eyes.

guess what?

bah humbug.

i took the afternoon off yesterday, and this morning i remembered why i never ask for time off, even if i desperately need it - it's because when i get back in, my entire shipping room is trashed, my desk is a mess, and i can't find a goddamn thing. including my box cutter.

how am i supposed to run a shipping room without a box cutter?

how am i supposed to slit my wrists?

oh, the melodrama. i would make fun of my histrionics, but today, right now, i kind of really want to.

same old again, i know.

i know. you're just glad you don't have to live it.

"maybe THAT is your purpose for existence, chels, you're supposed to be the cautionary tale, the person who everyone else can look to and go, well, at least my life doesn't suck as bad as hers, and then feel better about themselves."

you know what? fuck you all. especially you, seth. you pedophile. how is your child bride doing, these days?

i think most people who major in psychology only do it because they are trying to understand their own fucked up selves. like a psychology class is going to teach you anything. pfft. all it teaches you is to fake it till you make it.

i'd rather not make it, if that's the only option to get through anything.

i vote the world owes me a giant fucking favor, and if i don't get something amazing out of nothing sometime soon, then jesus doesn't love me and the whole goddamn thing is a sham.

and now, back to the gravy train.