burn all my notebooks

when i'm gone please do not let

my family read them

one of those

slow boil

decades long

pen pal

situations

please

what if you go i say
he says but what if i stay
& then runs away

what woman carved
the man out of your
hollow boy bones

& sent you packing
with just enough fear to
ramble ‘round rattled

‘til you could only run
from any silence might
mean you’d been filled

it's not about the
destination
it's about the
blind frantic stumbling

shook awake by your
old familiar night terror

dark matter memory
a neuron tripwire
triggered by hands

at this door in all
these tall thick walls

ghost you’ll recall
how i woke with you
cold in my arms that

first first time in my
arms cold & long gone

need him to
stop pulling my
push doors