when i look
back my 20s
are an endless

series of serious
discussions

with a father
or mother or both
baffled & begging
me to tell what

i wanted to
do with my life

because it was
normal to presume
desires & wants

even if mine
didn't actually exist

& as these
chats recurred
i was banned
from "i don't know"
as an answer

until all of us
were sick
of each other
in silence

since there was
no elephant
in those rooms

because
there was
only a void

perhaps
shaped as
an elephant
so it could be

just as easy
to ignore