just ash

this is only
a smoke trail &
long-licked sky
burns far ahead.

watch how flame
curls on the edge
of all that comes
first.

sun gleam
weaves a liquid gold
line & cartographs
clouds or
progression or
progress through clouds.

like violet mountains
bite into sky,
snaggletoothed
through everything
insubstantial & just
insist on their space,
daring anyone bolder
to claim it.

you can climb
a mountain if you
must, but
can you move
a mountain out of
need?

until all its height,
heft, substance
& stubbornness
sit beneath the very
balls of your tiny,
tired feet.

because sometimes
faith is there
to move you
up the mountain, or
to move the mountain
beneath your work
& willfulness.

i just want
to peel these
peals of laughter
from the sides
of this ribcage
set them free like
so many birds
from this mountaintop.

watch what’s most
me, but not me,
climb higher if i
let it go, if i
don’t have to worry
about hanging on.

echoes of all
my inside selves
reverberate from
canyon walls, skip
across the tops of
douglas firs & shake
all the little aspen
leaves.

coyote chased
me up a mountain
to make me
love it, to make
me stop faulting
it from so far away.

the belly of the valley
is for low-slung
spirits who
neglect their wings &
the proud vault of
a howl flung moonward.

coyote snapped
at my ankles, tore
my achilles until i
learned to run
without it, until
hurt and impossibility
became new legs
i climbed into &
made work for me.

coyote bit
the flesh from my
back until all i saw
was spine & i
found a backbone
to build a new
body, or a new
being in the body
i already had.

coyote laughed
& i recoiled, until
the hiss & hackles i
raised became
breath through sharp
teeth & matted blond
fur that smelled
like leaves &
late october.