tonight’s particulars tie
my short breath moment
to a blood root recall to
perhaps an evening such
as this 1888 in wyoming
where kids dunno snow
can fall straight ‘steada
sideways my great great
grandpa’s horse returned
riderless in the icy indigo
hours of a tuesday dawn
from a desperate decision
for meat which drove him
up a squalling mountain i
conjure the deep chasm a
twice great grandmother’s
stomach screamed down
watchful & waiting before
his head appeared at the
hillcrest late that following
friday how she’d’ve flung
her new babe on the bed
how she’d have flown out
t’find him again a tangible
thing & seen something
wrong before she reached
‘are y’shot’ cried & caught
by wind ‘no worse’n that’
words & worn man fell into
‘er arms like the avalanche
which had swept him down
an entire mountainside over
every stump & stone which
split ribs into splinters then
shivved ‘em deep in his lungs
‘til pneumonia festered for
days on a broken trek back
to his wife boys & baby how
ice & air must have harrowed
what horrors she uncovered
peeling gloves & boots that
had frozen fused to flesh
she trudged then too thru
a hopeless nightwatch his
fervent words fevered & so
feeble ‘i thought too much
of you & the children t’die
up there in the snow & you
never knowin’ where i was’
‘til her tears & his tongue
were too thick t’speak so
he clung for 3 days & let go

at the rare convergence of an idea & the desire to execute it

 

(work in progress shot)

 

haiku & shit

uncertainty &
its infinite unfolding
psychosomations

in this thermos cap

fulla burnt umber umbrage

& tears not for you

such superfluous effort at

identity & i can draw a man

shaped like a man can test

his oars eager upon my sea

but with no shores to pass

through a harbor’s hollowed

by how they’ll take & leave

with another ocean’s name

someone tell gen z

bring back lime skittles if they

trawlin’ the 90s

sea brine breaths shiver

down my throat taunt a

mountain-muted tongue 

too tucked in dry valleys

don’t leave ‘til friday 

but my mind has already

gone on vacation

why did i invite

my mom on this vacation

why did i invite

excavating clothes

from my closet depths like yeah

i need to pack this

paused packing for spot

o’ pre-trip anxiety

coping mech haiku

take a vacation

from your problems not take your

probs on vacation

either a v great

bonding experience or

murder suicide

find out next week re

will i post again or just

walk into the sea

october sunday 

magpie grips suet feeder

fat frantic flapping

tfw you don’t

die in your sleep so you have

to go back to work

so sorry but this

is gonna be a shitty

work posts account now

actualize my

arctic hermit dreams before

death in the cube farm

never been more in

on selling all of my shit

& disappearing

1:30 am

thursday morning finally

done with wednesday’s work

59 hour

work week 1 trade show booth start

to end in 5 days

i have been rendered

a desiccated husk of

a human being

that ol’ curl up

under your desk &

angry cry energy

6 am at work

& dressed like a lumberjack

so write this day off

what millennial 

ever escapes their inner

basic hipster bitch

i can assure you

this plaid flannel is fully

nonperformative

can you even live

up a mountain & not wear

flannel on the reg

to be fair tho this

beanie i have far fewer

good excuses for

 the album i have listened to the most this year

in more recent news (like in the last 72 hours) my weird shoulder has been acting & feeling new kinds of weird, so gonna try & go get it looked at this week. but hoo boy is it doing a number on my  p a r a n o i a

got this album on repeat now as something soft to fall back into & ostrich head the whole situation for the rest of the evening until i can get a hold of the orthopedist’s office during orthopedist office hours.