Moongrate, these blinds;
Night light too bright
To sleep right.

lines from laura marling's secret song

there's a house across the river
but alas i cannot swim
and a garden of such beauty
that the flowers seem to grin
there's a house across the river
but alas i cannot swim
i'll live my life regretting that i never jumped in

there's a boy across the river
with short black curly hair
he wants to be my lover
and i want to be his peer
there's a boy across the river
but alas i cannot swim
i never will get to put my arms around him

there's a life across the river
that was meant for me
instead i live my life in constant misery
there's a life across the river
but i do not see why i should please those who will never be pleased

there was gold across the river
but i don't want none
there was gold across the river
but i don't want none
gold is fleeting gold is fickle gold is fun
gold is fleeting gold is fickle gold is fun
there is gold across the river but i don't want none
i would rather be a child and held up by a golden gun
sing work more, and we'll live more, have more fun
sing work more, and we'll live more, have more fun

dis parate

last nigh t the great bird was steady in his boat
i have got my s hit together
and i am read y to go
oh but t he way i've been acting

last n ight the grey moon c limbed right down in this hole
how on ear th did you get down here
it s till ain't clear
i had my shit toget her
i was rea dy to go
i must be doing so mething wrong

gonna say this once for the bot h of us
you can bor row my vibe
i'm waiting on the downtown t rain
my technology ain't n ever gonna be the same
i'm like a baby on s peed
i'm like a lea f falling out of a tree
look a t me
w hat do you see
i am kidnapping  your melo dy

tonight the to nigh t the hills are watching her
as she runs tow ards the sea yeah
she r uns so she'll be free
and of all the friends and enemies she's mad e along the way
they are now here in her thoughts as she dives beneath the waves

it i s for me
the event ual truth
of that look of the l ion ess
to her man across the nil e
it is that look of the li oness
to her man a cross the nile
wanna feel my hear t break (if it must break)
in y our jaws.
you can't get her e fast enough

and the first one t ore a picture of a dead an hanging man
who was kissing foreign fishes that flew right out from his h and
and w hen i put my arms around him
felt the b lushing blood run through my cheeks
and an airiness surround him when his tong ue began to speak
and he s aid oh boy you are so pretty
enough to wrap tight in rice paper, st ring

you're the color you're the movement and the s pin
could it stay with me the w hole day long?
fail with con sequence
lose with eloquence and a s mile
i'm not in t his movie
i'm not in this son g
n ever
leave me paralyze d love
l eave me hypnotized love

i live on a cha in
you, you had the same la st name
as a joke, i sent a bottle of whisk ey
as you choke d, you said it made you feel dirty
and i was waiting over he re
for love to beg in
i was lookin' for the new thin g
and you were the s unshine aiding my frontline
i was al one
and you were just a round the corner from me

one holy g host for the homemad e girl in the green tshirt
that read i quote what price damnation no w?
in the school of though t in the halls of state
with the leaves of f ate the loose translation must have lost her
it must have cost her to go b ack to the civilization
caught between her e and the real one
just to s ay what you'd begun to say once

i'll al ways wait to write you t his letter
we've been s tuck here for days and it just won't get any better
the man we both k now the one with the pass ionate voice
i hear d all his promises, yeah we'd love to do the same
so we'll sin g of open fields, sing of crow ded rooms
and t he way we love in the sea
and how it will all get b righter once we
sing of open fields, sin g of crowded rooms

stay out super l ate tonight
picking apples, ma king pies
put a little some thing in our lemonade
and take it wit h us
we're half a wake in a fake empire
turn the light off, say good nigh t
no thin king for a little while

i had a plan that was built on thin king too long
canadian win ters at home with your sister
the roman ce was hard to ignore
you were beau tiful
i was happy to f all
i remember you sear ching
i th ought you were searching
that's h ow i picked up the phone
happy to hear you remembe red the view
so glad to assu me it was fair
i though t at the time it was clear
i thought at the time it was cl ear
so i stood at the station with a plan and a pocket of poe ms
heroically tragic, bear ded and blind with ob session
i'm a car wi thou t hope
too c lose to the ditch to go far
my he art it just fell ap art
it was hurt by the sound of your vo ice
and i wished i could s how you the same view
you're by the wind ow and me feeling fine
yeah me just f eeling fine

another sleepless day

in keeping with the theme of "more yellow birds" and also because i am addicted to t-shirts, i wanted to inform my three readers that one of my shirt.woot shirts came last night, and i'm donning it proudly today.

http://shirt.woot.com/Derby/Entry.aspx?id=50579

in this case, the poor night owl (myself, or the wearer) would like a few less yellow birds.

also, for those of you wondering where the "more yellow birds" current title of this blog comes from, please see this sparklehorse song.

i am thinking, perhaps, i need to explore further the theme of "yellow bird" t-shirts, and make it my new collection hobby. and possibly also new t-shirt rule, to curb my rampant t-shirt purchasing habit. so, let's just say, that for the next year (excepting any new firefly-related shirts that come out) i am only allowed to buy t-shirts with at least one yellow bird on them. i think i can stick to that.

coincidentally, did you know if you type "yellow bird" into the search bar at threadless, you get ZERO search results? this needs to be remedied, folks.

a birthday preamble

twenty seven
times i start
and stop, to write
this poem.

to mark the end
of a year,
the beginning
of a year.

it is hard
to type on a
blackberry
with long
thumbnails.

those are one
of the changes,
one
of the new goals
i set for myself:

maintain growth,
or progress,
even if it's
only as small
only as slow
as a thumbnail.

it's harder than
it seems, you know.
working in a warehouse
makes it hard to do
several things:

wear nice clothes
to work.
keep your nails
nice.
don't come home
covered
in cardboard.

i'm doing two
of the three,
and that's a good
average. anyway,

i refuse to pack
boxes in heels.