feel the lightning

strands of september

pushed against
this word wall

in a slow
show dance
around tell
nots & knots

in tiny
spirals brick
by brick
to a long void
& low hum

poetry
a bird of prey
shrieked

sunk talons
through my shoulders
& flung me at
a halo moon

full of holes
& the hot
spread of my
own blood

too many
people say
all the same
things with
all the same
words

i want you
in these lines

not what you
think i want
in these lines

don't tell me
the heart
is heavy

tell me what
sound an
iron heart

away
from a
magnet
presence

makes when it
meets the ground

start putting
wrong words
together
instead

grey hours &
long breaths

find me regret
in being too much
of a thing
to hold onto

it's silent
& time dilates

as my last
words
edgeskirt
spaces where

it still won't
speak anything
beside that
blind stare

infinite hopes
scream
underneath
paper skin

crisp edges
of september
outline all my
pencil
possibilities

eyes
look like
they'd
look good
on me

they're knots
in all my
little nerve

endings
& bite marks
inside my

bottom lip

a diffusion
of self

across
every tiny
universe

each a tiny
stone, a
peace

pulled
from all
these places
where i lie

each a
little grey
good
bye

forever
echoing
low rumbles
of laughter

cups filled
with the taste
of my name
on other
tongues

just ash
& aches
of stars
between
sheets

listen long
enough
to miss it
entirely

only ever
effervescent

light in
periphery

last notes
hung on
silence

a timbre
i tell to
myself

roll me
thunder
between
fingers

all our
little ions
charge,
part, arc
electric

bare

against
black sky

a cloudburied
moon

pulls ripe
out to my edges

misseds

& mists

dark blurred
lines

slip sweet
to the end
of all my
sentences

lure me
with long casts

reel me in
by a gasp
hooked
in the back
of my throat

build me
in slow
curves

extend
me in
neverstraight
lines

pulse
on my lips
tremble
in fingertips

bury
bones
in me

don't let me
touch these keys
before 9

anymore

i'm serious
take this phone

hold back my
hands, cold

stab a bitch

something

oh help me
untangle

all the
explosions
beneath
those eyelids

study me
for what
doesn't waver

with devilish
glints over
sweet lips
holding
a sly grin

an eyebrow
to arch
my back

until i
climb out
of sleep

open an
eye &

decide to
fall back
into the abyss

where i am
a bedsheet
at 2 a.m.

when chill
& instinct
pull me
tight around

in sleep
with a slow-
turned shiver

today
i need

my empath
frequencies
set to white
noise & not

this hd
radio
bullshit

read me
in corners
where
you think i
can't see

& i feel all
my scars
start to burn

could i
beg to
be shown
devils in the dark
because i want
fire & horns
to hold onto

it's one
of those
mournings
where i woke
up a hundred
years older

tired of
constriction

& just
want to be
pulled
back
because
otherwise
i'll forever
slither
away

vaguery
stripped

seconds
bold &
underline
me

hands trace
void calls

i could've
left those
fingertips
unanswered

look but
don't touch

for the
longest
time just

to let me
stay
unreal
when i

needed to

looking glass

tired
of tech
nology
trying
to move
my life

further
&
further
out/away
of/from
my body

we are
already
ghosts
in machines

empty eyes
spark nothing
reflect
artificial light

fingertips
in prolonged
death rattles

across all
these keys

relentlessly
throwing
ourselves
at the void

mixtape xxxvii - a little list of runaways

the runner doesn't speak
he won't speak to me
pack a bag and fly across the seas
and don't feel a thing
do you know what it's like to be sober?

-

i won't go back home
i won't know my way
town to town i go
a new one every day
i'm looking for alaska

-

gods of iron clashing
wind in battle through the night
tears will fall and
strength is needed to overcome
this old house is full
of leaks and mold on the walls
dragons of the mind
are lurking in the shadows
torrents wash away everything
raindrops flowing all around
queen takes king
the pawns are falling on the ground

-

oh so cool you seem
blending with that scene
wearing what you think is hard
i can see you struggling
boy don't hurt your brain
thinking what you're gonna say
'cause everything's a game
always try to calculate

-

my eyes blew out i could finally see
warm magical tropical oceans
organs of people circle the sea
i fell back to perpetual motion
i opened my skull you were looking at me
we all howled a chord and extended the three
freddy was there and remixed it after

-

maybe there is still time
oh i don't know anymore
and i see the wonderous things
in what you could have been
you kept on hanging around
showing me the rough side of town
i said once, i said twice
but not again

-

pour your words out
come on, i'm not coming back
draw the curtains
come on, that old sun is back
my hometown has cursed me
lately
i'm not coming back
cause the last thing that i noticed
as that old train came around
was a city burning golden
as the sun came shining down
and i said they'd still be in my mind
as i screamed goodbye
farewell to my old town

-

a pair of lovers in the kitchen
it's a story to tell
they are wishing
they are waiting
for something, well
a pair of lovers in the night
you're a lover and a fighter
that's okay with me
don't need no money to have a good time
there's only one thing i need

-

taking steps toward your door
i hasn't let myself before
hear your name called
she screams your name out
as you take her to the floor
think she likes it?
and you found it
and you drowned it
and you washed it clean
feed me words while you had her
between the sheets
bet she likes that

-

all my life i've been waiting
caught up in nothing at all
i fear not what i have never done before
but what i've been until now
hear the sound of bright light
bask in the silence of dark
endless voices erupt inside my head
a flurry of fears and doubt
mind is poison
knowledge helps the pain
but sense can't help me out

-

we were young souls
on the junkyard
now we are stunned minds
full of junk goods
but i feel your heartbeat
just like mine
i feel your heart beat
all the time
and we were bound to the citylife
flashlights
when we were falling into the night

-

for some this is all a game
don't take me just a fool
from the sidelines to the front wide
i'll be saving up for them new shoes
all the while i'll be wishing it's alright
'cause my main man on the right
plays it cool

-

i feel the darkness setting in
and my memory wears thin
i know it's happened times before
and i'm preparing for a fall
i've started breaking ties i've made
expecting blankness on this grave
a dozen times i've felt this breeze
but now i feel it in my sleep
so much more behind my words
i miss myself so much it hurts
feel the same
be this way

-

couldn't find you honesty
all the blisters you were holding alone
couldn't find you honesty
were you water
were you breaking
my frozen bones
my broken mind
it pulls this frozen weight on us
now i've spoken what it meant to be
in your doorway
standing taller than those long shadows
couldn't find you honesty
were you water
were you breaking my frozen bones

-

tracklisting:

the runner by airling

1055 by and the giraffe

alaska by animaux

torrent by asgeir

brain by banks

tropical oceans by dd dumbo

rough side of town by eleanor dunlop

i'm not coming back by husky

a pair of lovers by the jungle giants

hide by little may

help me out by lucianblomkamp

flashed junk mind by milky chance

gold snafu by sticky fingers

stay by tully on tully

bones by dustin tebbutt

you don’t forgive the silence for not speaking up
no matter how hard we’re trying it’s not hard enough
your eyes before the lightning to meet it by yourself
you’ve been tired and a little sick

you’ve been trying to work with it
you drew your grave on every single map
you don’t plan on staying long
you plan on burning it

no matter how wrong it went
you don’t have much more room to forget
you don’t have much more room to forget
you don’t forgive even the lightning

for leaving you
but everything should try again
even you
you followed the train through every prairie dawn

said "i’d like to see ohio one more time before it’s gone"
you had your hands up high in a prayer to crush your heart
and every single heart
was that eight point star

ever been tired
ever been a little sick
ever tried working through it

everything should try again - jason molina